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As I prepare for my daughter’s sixth birthday party, I am conflicted. I am struggling to find money for school and I begin classes on January 15, 2011. Short of taking out a high interest loan, I really have no other options. I wish a fairy godmother would come and make all of my financial issues disapear. Well, on to getting ready for the party.

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Well, it is getting closer and closer. I will begin Massage Therapy school in mid January and I am still trying to get my “ducks in a row” to pay for it and make sure I have everything I need to start. I have been given some scholarship info by a friend and will be concentrating on applying for as many as possible to cut the cost. I sent a request to the Clark County School system this morning to get my high school transcripts.

It feels strange to be starting school again at nearly 40. I do know that I am moving in the right direction. I can only ask that God would make sure that the path is clear and I won’t stumble over my own feet on the way. I keep wishing that the $6000.00 I need will just fall into my lap. I know it won’t happen, but a girl can dream.

Chin up, I’m off to make the kiddo breakfast and apply for some more money for school.

I have decided that I have far too many boundaries in my life. Most of them are self-imposed. I am not really living life to its fullest or appreciating the little things that make life worth living.I have an amazing family. I need to start showing them my love more frequently. I have many talents that I am wasting.I am going to use them. Writing is a stress reliever and something I enjoy. I like to workout, sing, read and make herbal crafts. Most of these have fallen by the wayside while life has gone on auto pilot. I am taking my life back. I can no longer be a spectator watching on the sidelines. Watch out, cause here I come!

The turbulence of my emotions

shakes my foundations

Am I not a woman

of strong convictions,

of willful needs as well?

Would I risk that which I

cherish

for a fleeting glimpse of 

 lust and vanity?

Nay,

 for I have far too great a love

to risk damnation

for playful wants

and wanton desires.

It never crosses our minds how important people really are until they are gone.  Just over a week ago, I lost a woman who influenced my life in ways I had not considered until she had left it. My husband’s aunt lost her battle with cancer last Saturday. She was always a strong woman, opinionated (like me), and everything she did was filled with passion. I am devestated that such a vibrant woman was taken far too soon. Yet, I find comfort in the family that accepted me as their own.

Rosie shared so much with us. She was an intelligent woman who never wanted to stop learning. I think that is one of the things she would want us to learn from her life. Never quit in your quest for knowledge. She loved deeply and without compromise. Everyone has faults and she had hers too. Although, I can identify with those as well. She was stubborn to a fault (right there with her, I have a stubborn streak a mile wide) and at times did not know when to give up the fight. I’m not sure if I can really call these faults since I think they are admirable qualities.

What I do know is that she taught me so much in the short time I knew her. There will be a hole in my heart that can only be filled by her. I am blessed that she was a part of my life and because of her, I am willing to share more of myself with others.  It has been a long time since I have been able to say that.

Thank you, Rosie for being a part of my life. I will never forget all that you gave of yourself. Miss you more every day.